it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
