24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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