I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
