you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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