Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
