After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
