the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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