I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
