He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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