You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
