I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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