Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
