hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
