I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
