I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
