You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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