I think im going to throw up on grandma
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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