Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
