trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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