There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
