I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
