So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
