We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
