i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
