Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize