I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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