If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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