Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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