Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
