hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
