I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
