You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Randomize