if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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