We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
