So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
