My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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