So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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