Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
