the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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