so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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