i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
