Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Me too!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Randomize
