I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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