Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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