Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wish you could order shots online.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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