were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
What drink are we having for lunch?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
