Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
