He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
