you're like a bully in the Christmas story
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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