my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
