One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize