Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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