I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
