just survived the first fart of the relationship.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
