he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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