this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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