Just fell off a train. Bad.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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