i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
it's like iHOP with fire
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
