i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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