def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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