Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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