I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Vodka?
Forever.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
