so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
