dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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