just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's rum buckets o'clock
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
